


Illogical Fear

by Willowanderer



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Denial, Dentists, Freindship, Gen, Humor, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, Toothache, fears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:06:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22236043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowanderer/pseuds/Willowanderer
Summary: A sleepy morning leads to an unfortunate discovery and a visit to the figment suburbs.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Could be platonic - Relationship, could be interpreted as romantic - Relationship
Comments: 7
Kudos: 35





	Illogical Fear

It was a fairly quiet morning in the Mindscape; and they’d settled down to a ‘together breakfast’ which wasn’t a frequent thing. Their differences in approach to sleep schedules meant the Sides were very rarely awake together in the morning. And when they were, it was just as likely that they’d all be awake while Thomas was still asleep, which led to a sleepy, friendly atmosphere, like they were cosily tucked up in bed still while sitting at the table. 

Logan seemed a little grouchy, but that was just something that happened sometimes. The wincing however was new.

“Lo? You okay there?” Patton asked. 

“I’m fine.” Logan said and went to take another bite of his toast only to wince again. He tried his coffee with a similar effect.

“Yeah, Fine. I can tell.” Virgil rolled his eyes, attention having been grabbed from his phone. 

“Very well, I seem to have a toothache.” Logan admitted. “But it’s fine, it will go away in a bit.”

“Logan.” Patton said sternly. “That’s a pretty lackluster approach to the tooth of the matter.”

“Yeah, Lo. I’d think you’d be all over dental health.” 

“I brush twice daily as recommended.” 

“If you didn’t we’d have to exchange some words, my dear nerd, starting with hypocrisy.”

“You even used the word correctly, Roman, I’m very impressed.” Logan said dryly. “But I am careful about my dental care.” 

“Obviously not careful enough.” Roman came around the table and grabbed a hold of Logan’s face, producing another wince, and a flashlight from thin air. “Say Ahh”

“I will naaaaa-” Roman forced Logan’s mouth open further and peered in with aid of the light. 

“Logan, I can  _ see  _ a cavity there.” Roman admonished. “You need to see a dentist.”

“That’s ridiculous.” he reclaimed his face and swatted the flashlight away. “We’re anthropromofications of abstract mental constructs, I do not need to see a dentist. I do not have a cavity, and there is  _ nothing wrong _ .”

The fridge shut, and they all jumped. 

“Wow.” Said Deceit, his arms full of fruit that he’d taken from the fridge. “That is an  _ awful  _ lot of words to only have one true thing said, Logan. I commend you.” 

“What are you doing here?” Virgil demanded. Deceit plucked an apple from the array cradled against his chest, and tossed it up and down.

“Shopping?”

“Stealing.”

“Isn’t all property theft?” Deceit asked, running a gloved thumb over the apple’s skin. “Your produce is better.” Virgil gave and awkward shrug of acknowledgement. “But I was attracted by lies, as I am, and just to lay this out straight-”

Roman snorted automatically. 

“Logan has been lying to himself about this for a  _ while _ .” 

“I have not!” Logan protested uselessly. From under his cape, Deceit produced a jar of jam, and Logan surged to his feet. “Now we are going to have a problem, Deceit, that is mi-” Logan’s tirade was cut off by a spoonful of jam being shoved in his mouth, and he winced harder, hand going up to his cheek. Deceit snorted.

“And with that, my work here is never done.” he sunk out, fruit, jam jar and all. 

Mouth covered with one hand, Logan swallowed heavily, swishing his mouth around to try and get the preserves away from the sore tooth. Virgil took pity on him and handed him a glass of water. 

“I … might… have a toothache.” Logan admitted. “But it should repair itself after Thomas’s next checkup, and at any rate, where would I even see a dentist.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s one in the figment suburb.” Patton said thoughtfully. 

“Oh no.” Logan looked upset, and pulled up a planner. “When is Thomas’s next cleaning scheduled, perhaps I can wait…” 

“What’s wrong with the suburb?” Patton demanded. “It’s a lovely place!” 

“It’s full of nonsense!” 

“Well too bad, we’re going right after breakfast, mister.” Patton said sternly.

Logan, as might be inferred, did not like the figment suburb. While it held a common border with the imagination, it was a repository of random characters and repeating ideas. It was less unpredictable than the imagination, and somehow that made it worse. The imagination was more honest, somehow with it’s usual fantasy aesthetic. It didn’t pretend to be the real world, which the figment suburb did, however badly. 

“I do not need you all to accompany me.” Logan mumbled petulantly. 

“You want Deceit to show up again?” Virgil asked, slumping along behind him, headphones half on. 

“I cannot help but feel that you would abandon this quest without your party, my friend.” Roman had his hands tucked behind his head, walking beside Virgil. He waved as a group of four walked past in the opposite direction, single file for no discernible reason and bearing weapons more suited for the imagination. Only the one in front, a Thomas face, waved back, the others didn’t seem to react at all. 

“I think you’ve convinced me I don’t have an option at this point.” Logan tried to reason, and pull his hand free from Patton’s. Patton squeezed harder, and kept walking. They passed by a field, a strip mall, a few fast food places of burry logo, an eerily accurate CVS and a likewise accurate Starbucks, where Sleep was dosing off at an outside table. Clearly, Thomas had not awoken yet. 

“Oh there it is! I thought I remembered it was on the way to the dog park.” There was a cheerful sign adorned with a depiction of an only moderately accurate tooth, outside a low white-painted building. “I think I can handle it from here, so why don’t you two go off and have fun okay?” Patton smiled at Roman and Virgil, who shrugged at each other but waited until Logan and Patton were at the door before abandoning their honor guard. 

Logan tried not to feel trapped as they entered the reception area. This was fine. This was normal, there was nothing wrong with going to the dentist. Patton spoke to the receptionist, and Logan pretended he wasn’t contemplating backing out the door. A glance out the glass door, however, showed that Virgil had, instead of leaving, taken a seat on the low retaining wall, now with both headphones on. He gave Logan a vague salute and an all too knowing smirk. Logan returned to standing next to Patton. 

“Good news!” Patton told him brightly. “They just had a cancelation, and the doctor can see you right away!”

“How convenient.” Logan said stiffly. They sat in the waiting area, and Logan perused the magazines, trying to find something to distract himself. 

“Good morning!” Said a high, cheerful voice. Logan looked up to see a short, slender blond man whose face was not pulled from any of Thomas’s friends, wearing a doctor’s coat and a vest that was cheerfully patterned with cartoon teeth.

“Of course.” Logan grimaced, jaw hurting. “Any dentist in Thomas’s head was bound to be a pediatric one.”

“Oh no-” the dentist shook his head. “I’m a general dental practitioner, I just like this vest. It was a present. I wore it today because I felt the day was going to include something special, and here you are. I’m Doctor Hermey Noel.” he offered his hand to shake and Logan took it reluctantly. “I hear you have a toothache. Shall we have a look?”

Logan was not particularly convinced at Dr. Noel’s manner that he wasn’t a pediatric practitioner.

“Really, I think that everyone is overreacting-”

“Then having a look won’t hurt anything will it?” he gestured to the doorway. 

“Patton,” Logan glanced back at the other side who was… putting together a children’s puzzle. 

“It’s okay, Lo. You’ll be fine.” He said encouragingly.

“I’m afraid of doctors Pat.” he burst out. There was a brief awkward silence, and Logan felt the need to explain. “There is so much we don't know about the human body and the professional guidelines are loose and depend entirely on personal moral codes, often populated with bullies and money seekers, the education process is archaic and barbaric and does not encourage the acquisition of new information as it is learned, not to mention an arrogance which leads to lack of communication with the patient!”

The second awkward silence dragged a bit longer.

“Well, that’s a bit of a handful.” Dr. Noel said cheerfully. “And a bunch of perfectly rational concerns.”

“Don’t patronise me.” Logan grated. “I am aware my fear is illogical.”

“That was fairly well thought out for an illogical fear.” he offered gently “Would it help if your friend came with you?” 

It was ridiculously reassuring to be able to see Patton out of the corner of his eye. After the initial examination Dr. Noel just sat down to talk to him.

“Well you have excellent dental hygiene, Logan.”

“Clearly not.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. There are lots of reasons people can get cavities. Genetics and stress are more often to blame than any kind of failure to take proper care of yourself. In fact, over brushing can be almost as much of a problem as under brushing. However,” he looked at Logan seriously. “Your particular situation aside,  _ ignoring  _ a problem is very much inappropriate. It really does need taking care of for your own health and comfort. I’m sure you’re more than aware of the potential problems it can lead to?” 

Logan sighed.

“Yes, I am aware.” 

“You’re doing fine.” the dentist assured him. “And you only seem to have the one, so it won’t take long at all.” 

Logan still groaned. 

It  _ didn’t  _ take long, and Patton didn’t even mention that Logan held his hand while it happened. 

Virgil unfolded himself and got to his feet as they came down the path to the sidewalk. 

“Everything fine now?” 

Logan nodded. 

“Cool. Princy texted me, he’s bothering Sleep over at Starbucks and says we should join them there.” 

“Sounds nice!” Patton grinned, and started contemplating what kind of sweet to get. Virgil nudged Logan gently as they started, barely a knocking of their shoulders together while they walked. 

“Fears don’t have to be logical.” 

Logan glared at him. 

“Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?” He smirked. “I mean, c’mon, you were reeking of it, I’m surprised no one else did.” 

Logan contemplated this, looked at Patton’s back as he was pulling ahead of them, then carefully brought one hand up between himself and Virgil, displaying what he felt about that statement. Virgil choked on a stifled laugh. 

“Love you too.” he sniggered. 

“Is there a love fest back here I’m missing out on?” Patton asked, turning around to walk backwards. 

“Nah, you’re included.” Virgil said, hands in his hoodie pockets, then he leapt forward and grabbed Patton’s hands to keep him upright as he tripped over a curb and nearly fell over. “Watch where you’re walking, sheesh!” 

Patton kept ahold of Virgil’s hand, and grabbed up Logan’s again, swinging them both as he walked in between them. 

“Aw, but then I couldn’t do this!” 

Shaking his head, Virgil looked around as they backtracked, but he didn’t pull his hand loose. Patton leaned up against Logan’s shoulder.

“And don’t think I didn’t see that, mister.”

Logan made a small noise of surprise.

“I’ve got Dad-ly premonition, Logan. It’s like Santa, only with more barbeques. I’ve got eyes the back of my hoodie.” 

Logan just sighed. 

Roman had taken over the table they’d seen Sleep at earlier, and was brushing his coat off with furious flicks of his fingers, removing brownish stains. 

“Ah, welcome back!” He waved a hand beating the last couple of stains off his sleeve in puffs like dust. “Everything go well?” 

Logan nodded. 

“You just missed Remy, he said Thomas was finally waking up, so he had to jet.” 

Logan looked quietly appalled, making a show of checking his watch. 

“Well sometimes you just have to rest to shine your brightest.” Roman smiled. “So, tell me how did it go?”

Logan shrugged. 

“What, are you suddenly at a loss for words?” 

Logan furiously signed at Roman who snorted. 

“And miss this opportunity? Never!” 

“Now, Roman, don’t tease. It can’t be any fun to have your face half numb from novacaine.”

“I’m sure it’s not that big a deal. Logan’s just being Logan, in his stuffy, self important way.”

“Wow, when Prance-a-lot thinks you’re self important…” Virgil started, but then stopped himself and headed inside instead “I’ll go grab us some drinks, the usual good for everybody?” 

“Well I’m glad you think that, Roman.” Patton said cheerfully. “Since while we were there I made appointments for everyone!”

“What.”

“I mean, if it snuck up on Logan, who knows what might be going on with the rest of us!”

“Patton.” Roman whined piteously.

Logan smiled, not caring that it was a little droopy in that moment. That almost made the ordeal worth it. 


End file.
